By Melinda Rolls
On a Saturday morning in the fall of 1966, 10-year-old Adam Nimoy headed to Hollywood with his dad for their annual father-son outing. It was a tradition that they had started the year prior, before they abandoned it two years later.
Their first stop was an old-school pizza parlor on Hollywood Boulevard, nearly empty before the lunch rush. Had it been busier, “Star Trek” fans would have approached their table for an autograph. But with no one around, Adam and his father sat in silence like strangers, typical of their time spent together. The arrival of pizza at the table felt like a relief.
Adam’s new memoir, “The Most Human: Reconciling with My Father, Leonard Nimoy,” chronicles his journey to rebuild a relationship with his father after decades of tension and conflict since his childhood.
As part of his book tour, the Cinema Arts Centre in Huntington hosted a screening of Adam’s 2016 documentary “For the Love of Spock” on Nov. 24, honoring his father’s legacy as the “Star Trek” character. After the film, Adam took to the stage to discuss both the documentary and his memoir.
Spock’s cultural legacy
In the film’s opening, Adam reveals that he began working on “For the Love of Spock” while his father was still alive. Leonard, however, died from obstructive pulmonary disease in 2015, which he attributed to years of smoking. Aiming to honor both the 50th anniversary of “Star Trek” and his father’s life, the film explores how Spock’s hyper-logical character connected with so many people.
“He’s a cultural icon as Spock because he really did stimulate an interest in science, the exploration of the universe and logic,” said Jud Newborn, producer of special guest programs for the Cinema Arts Centre. “But he did this as this very complex and interesting character.”
The film details the development of the Spock character, including how Leonard’s Jewish heritage inspired the creation of his Vulcan salute when he saw the hand sign in his childhood synagogue.
“I was so intrigued with that gesture, I suggested that we do that as Vulcans,” said Leonard in the film. “Within days after that episode was on the air, I started getting that gesture back on the streets.”
Navigating a rocky relationship
After the film screening, Adam discussed with the audience not only the making of the documentary and his book, but also his relationship with his father.
“He’s a huge inspiration to me, but on the parenting front, challenged,” said Adam during the discussion.
Edwin Thrower of Glastonbury, Conn., who attended the event, appreciated the honest approach Adam took when speaking about his father. “It’s nice to have a realistic view of the father-son relationship, not just a rose-colored view, but everything — the good [and] the bad,” said Thrower.
In his memoir, Adam said his father was a “high-functioning alcoholic,” who admitted that his habitual drinking began in the 1960s to cope with the pressures of making “Star Trek.” Throughout his life, Adam found that career was more of a priority for Leonard than his family.
“I wanted an extraordinary life,” Adam said. “He gave it to me. But I mistakenly believed that I could handle him…that I could be the guy to tell him when I thought he was wrong.”
published in June. // Photo by Melinda Rolls/Long Island Advocate
Paralleling his father’s own addiction issues, Adam struggled with his own 30-year journey with addiction to marijuana. Both entered a 12-step program to recover from substance abuse through Alcoholics Anonymous. However, both the father and son struggled to take the ninth step outlined in the AA program: making amends with each other.
Adam shared that even after his dad stopped drinking in the ’90s, the relationship with his father was marked by frequent periods of intense conflict. For Adam, overcoming resentment toward his dad was one of the greatest challenges the 12-step program demanded. Through the program, he took steps to make “living amends” with his father, a process that involves actively working to address and repair damaged relationships.
“He loved the living amends, so much so that when it was over, he invited me over to Shabbat dinner the following night,” Adam said. “After that, everything changed.”
When Adam’s wife, Martha, was diagnosed with cancer in 2011 and died in 2012, his father emerged as a steady source of support in their reconciled relationship. “When Martha got sick, Leonard showed up for me,” Adam said.
A universal story
Adam, now 20 years off marijuana, said that he still attends AA meetings to remind himself of the tools of addiction recovery. At the meetings, he continues to share his journey of healing from conflict.
“I share this in 12-step meetings anonymously,” Adam said. “They don’t know that I’m related to Leonard, and they don’t need to know. It’s a universal story.”
The Nimoys’ challenges with addiction and family conflict often resonate with others who have experienced similar challenges.
“I didn’t know that he and his father were in recovery, and I’m sober 25 years,” said Robert MacKenzie of Huntington. “So when I started to hear the story about the family conflict and the dynamics, I found that to be very spiritually enlightening.”
For Newborn, the key lesson was that releasing resentments in relationships is essential to living your life, as Adam did with his father just before his passing. “Don’t let your parents go to their death bed without making sure you’ve mended your relationships and have said every possible thing you’d ever want to say to them,” Newborn said.
Thrower, an avid “Star Trek” fan, found that it was valuable to discover new dimensions of someone he has long admired. “It makes you realize that heroes are not just storybook figures. They’re real people,” he said. “When I have my bad moments, I think my heroes have had their bad moments, so it’s human. To quote ‘Star Trek,’ it makes us who we are.”
